Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
