So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
