i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
