I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize