Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
