How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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