So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
