I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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