just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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