I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
