Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
