I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
