margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize