All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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