I'm drive I can fine osifer
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
