What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
