someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
