New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
