i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
