a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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