I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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