is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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