At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
