I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
