Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
