Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
