Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
