..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
