tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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