bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
