Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
