I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
no you cant smoke seaweed
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
