I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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