Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
