Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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