I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
