Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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