i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
