I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
MIDGETS
????
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
