having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize