Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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