How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
