you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize