Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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