we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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