So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
