I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it's like iHOP with fire
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
im on a boat
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