Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
