Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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