so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize