I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
