out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
