perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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