I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
