you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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