I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
