I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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