This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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