Where is the hickey?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
