Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
