the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Two words: blizzard sex
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
