Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
