i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Even my vagina gasped.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
