That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
