I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
